★I was married to a wonderful woman who passed away five months ago after a heart attack.
★I believe all mourners should hear it
★Out of all the friends we had, only one couple said those words to me.
★it seems like many of my so-called friends have fallen off the face of the earth.
★it is the wife who "nurtures" the social relationships
★Something similar may be causing their reluctance to talk about your wife.
★They may fear that bringing her up in conversation will somehow cause you pain, which is why they avoid it.
★If you want to end your isolation,
★You can bring her up first to put them at ease.
★If you want to spend time with your friends, reach out and call them first.
★they might not want to spend time dwelling on your dead wife with you.
*Dwell on/upon sth ~을 곱씹다,
★It's a shame his friends are blowing him off.
*Blow sb off ~를 바람맞히다 / 관계를 청산하다
★I feel like she's trying to one-up me or divert attention away from my child
*One-up (on sb) 한발 앞서다
*Divert attention 주의를 전환하다 /
*Away (from sb/sth) (시간적, 공간적으로) 떨어져[떨어진 곳에] / 자리에 없는, 결석한
★We come from a big, tight-knit family
★I tell her politely to please stop stealing my thunder
*Steal one’s thunder 관심을 가로채다 / Center of the attention 초미의 관심사 (주목하고 있는 한 가운데)
★Whether she's doing it consciously or not
*Consciously 의식[자각]하여, 의식적으로
★Her bids for attention are really rather sad
*Bid for attention = Pay attention
★I'm tempted to start the countdown now
*Be tempted to ~하고 싶다, ~하도록 유혹당하다
★Spontaneously 자발적으로
Widower Buried His Wife, but Welcomes Her Memory
DEAR ABBY:
I was married to a wonderful woman who passed away five months ago after a heart attack.
전 5달전에 심장마비로 죽은 아주 매력적인 여자와 결혼했었습니다.
Why do people act as if the one who has passed away never existed?
왜 사람들은 어떤 사람을 죽으면 아예 없었던 사람처럼 행동할까요?
Please talk about her. Talk about her often. Tell me good things about her.
제 와이프에 대해 얘기하고, 더 자주 얘기하고, 좋았던 점들을 얘기해줬음 좋겠어요
If you wonder about the right thing to say -- and I believe all mourners should hear it -- here it is: Tell me my wife loved me, tell me I made her happy, tell me she knew I loved her and knew she made me happy.
만약 뭐가 올바르게 얘기하는 건지 궁금하다면, 그리고 모든 문상객들이 들어야 한다고 믿는것은, 여기있어. 나에게 얘기해줘 내 와이프가 날 사랑했다고, 내가 그녈 행복하게 해줬다고, 내가 사랑했다는걸 그녀가 알고 있었다고 그리고 그녀가 날 행복하게 만들었다는 것 알고 있었다고.
Repeat it as often as you can.
될수 있으면 자주 말해줘
Out of all the friends we had, only one couple said those words to me.
내 친구들 중에 오직 한 커플만이 내게 이 이야기를 해젔어요
When I heard them I cried, but I was also comforted.
들었을 때 난 울었지만, 물론 위로도 됐었어요.
Also, it seems like many of my so-called friends have fallen off the face of the earth.
또한 이건 소위 내 많은 친구들이 사라지는 것과 같아요 *Vanish off the face of the earth | 흔적도 없이 사라지다. 연기처럼 사라지다.
Now is when they are needed most.
지금 그들이 가장 필요한 때에요
I wish I knew why they don't come to see me. Is it me? -- ALONE IN ALABAMA
난 내가 그들이 왜 난 보러 오지 않는 이유를 알고 있었으면 좋겠어요. 내가 문제인가요?
DEAR ALONE:
Probably not.
아마도 그건 아닐거에요
There could be more than one reason for it.
한가지 이유가 아닐거에요
With many couples, it is the wife who "nurtures" the social relationships.
많은 커플들은 그건 당신의 와이프에요 사화적 관계를 키운
Also, your friends may be afraid that because they are couples and you are a widower, you might be uncomfortable spending time with them.
물론 다른 친구들은 아마 두려워 할거에요 그들은 커플이고 당신은 홀아비니까 당신이 아마 불편하게 느낄감정 그들과 함꼐 시간을 보내는 동안
Something similar may be causing their reluctance to talk about your wife.
뭔가 비슷한것은 아마 일어나고 있어요 그들의 꺼림이 말할때 당신의 와이프에 대해서
They may fear that bringing her up in conversation will somehow cause you pain, which is why they avoid it.
그들은 아마 무서울거에요 그녀를 대화에 불러일으키는 것이 아마 다소 당신의 아픔을 일으킨다고 그게 왜 그들이 그걸 피하는 이유일거에요
Death is an uncomfortable subject for many people, but I hope my readers will take your comments to heart.
죽음은 불편한 주제죠 많은 사람들에게, 하지만 난 바래요 내 독자들은 당신의 얘기를 마음으로 담을 거라고
If you want to end your isolation, you may have to call your friends and invite them instead of being passive and waiting for them to contact you.
만약 당신이 고립을 끝내고 싶다면 너는 아마 해야해 전화를 네 친구들에게 그리고 초대해 그들을 수동적으로, 연락을 기다리는 대신아
Please accept my sympathy for your loss.
삼가 고인의 명복을 빕니다
Comments
- They don’t want to talk about her, because they don’t know how you’ll react. You can bring her up first to put them at ease.
If you want to spend time with your friends, reach out and call them first.
However, they might not want to spend time dwelling on your dead wife with you.
*Dwell on/upon sth ~을 곱씹다,
Death makes people uncomfortable. The fact that you started crying while talking to one couple might explain their reluctance.
- It doesn't seem like his friends aren't being very supportive. There's nothing wrong with one of them picking up the phone to say hi and check in. It's a shame his friends are blowing him off.
*Blow sb off ~를 바람맞히다 / 관계를 청산하다
My opinion
Death... that is really hard thing to deal with....!
Even me, it's really hard to comfort someone who lose their family
Once I went to a funeral that my friend's little brother, I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere. at that time I realized it's kind of sin to die before parents and I can not forget my friend's parents' look. they doesn't lose their kid, but a part of their body, soul.
anyway I couldn't do anything at that time 'cause even though I said or did something, nothing would change.
Maybe that's why LW's friends could't say anything about LW's wife
everytime I go to funerals, I always hope all of people spend their whole life and die.
It's not LW's fault but If LW told their friends I'm okay, just come tell me about my wife, they'd be pleased to visit him.
I was married to a wonderful woman who passed away five months ago after a heart attack.
I believe all mourners should hear it
Out of all the friends we had, only one couple said those words to me.it seems like many of my so-called friends have fallen off the face of the earth.
it is the wife who "nurtures" the social relationships
Something similar may be causing their reluctance to talk about your wife.They may fear that bringing her up in conversation will somehow cause you pain, which is why they avoid it.
If you want to end your isolation,
You can bring her up first to put them at ease.
If you want to spend time with your friends, reach out and call them first.
they might not want to spend time dwelling on your dead wife with you.
*Dwell on/upon sth ~을 곱씹다,
It's a shame his friends are blowing him off.
*Blow sb off ~를 바람맞히다 / 관계를 청산하다
I feel like she's trying to one-up me or divert attention away from my child
We come from a big, tight-knit family
I tell per politely to please stop stealing my thunder
Whether she's doing it conciously or not
Her bids for attention are really rather sad
I'm tempted to start the countdown now
spontaneously 자발적으로
'외쿡말 > ETC' 카테고리의 다른 글
| 잡동사니 (0) | 2015.02.26 |
|---|---|
| 오늘의 한마디 #1 (0) | 2015.02.15 |
| Traveler's Joy Is Diminished by Sister's Endless Teasing (0) | 2014.11.28 |
| 이지형 - Nobody likes me (0) | 2014.11.25 |
| JRA - By Chance (0) | 2014.11.24 |